Hrvatska verzija dolje ↓
Have you ever felt like you are being trapped inside a glass bowl that is your life? Do you feel like there must be a whole another world out there, but you can’t seem to reach it? No matter what you do, it feels like you have been swimming in circles?
I have. For most of my life.
I had dreams, like we all do. I had big dreams, and many wonderful things I wanted to achieve. I always dared to dream, but that was basically all that I managed to do with my dreams – to dream them. Daydreaming, and convincing myself that not all things are meant for all people. That is true, but OUR dreams are meant for US. Otherwise, some other people would be dreaming them.
Our dreams are meant for us. It is a gift that we have been given to dream them, but also a responsibility to go and make them happen. For most of my life I didn’t go anywhere further than my dreamland couch. I guess I was in the state of mind where I was grateful for having that couch. Absolutely, that is something to be grateful for. And a roof over our heads, and security, and food, and the basics. However, what was not right with this mindset was that I believed that this was ALL that I deserved.
How we are brought up is everything. Instructions, concepts, ideas and beliefs of our parents are imprinted in us while we are growing up. No matter what their truth is, that is what will become our truth. Even if we are not aware of it, their fears, their limiting beliefs, their powerlessness is going to become our fear, our limiting beliefs and our powerlessness.
Our parents are doing their best. Each and one of them. They are putting in their best efforts to raise us the best way they know how, and to become what they believe is best for us. Our parents want to protect us and want us to have the most amazing lives. The matter is that they are limited in their beliefs. They don’t believe things can be done and dreams can be reached. They were also never taught otherwise. They were taught that not all dreams were meant for all people, and they should be satisfied with what they have (keep it, and shut up!). Their wings were never used, they were never trained in flying, their wings are now stunted. An eagle with stunted wings is not able to learn its eaglets how to fly. He doesn’t even know he can!
Most of us were also never taught how to fly, just because we were raised in the environment which did not know of flying being possible. They did not have parents, relatives, neighbors and fellow citizens being able to fly, they might have never even seen it. In case they did see it, they perceived flying to be a characteristic of another species – richer, stronger, more successful. A characteristic of anyone, just not them.
I was also an eaglet with stunted wings. My parents never dared to dream. They didn’t have time to dream. They had jobs to do, gardens to cultivate, houses to clean, bills to pay. They had no time for the ‘nonsense’ that dreaming was. They believed that their dreams were too big, they were ‘nonsense’, and they were meant to be kept where they came from – in their imagination. So, naturally, that is what I was taought to believe, too. My parents tried their best to protect me while I was growing up. They didn’t want the ‘harsh reality of life’ to hurt me. I remember their instructions given to me: ‘Don’t be ungrateful’ (when wanting something more), ‘You wish!’, ‘We don’t have…’ (fill in the blanks with whatever resource was needed), ‘Those things happen only in movies’, and so on.
The truth is not that we didn’t have what it takes: money, opportunities, possibilities, connections, resources. We didn’t have faith, and belief that we can do it. Instead, we had fear. Loads and loads and loads of fear. Fear that we will fail, fear that we cannot achieve the things we would wish for, fear that we will loose it all, fear that we will not be secure anymore, fear that we will be ridiculed and shamed, fear that we won’t be liked and accepted, fear that we will loose love from people we cared to love us, fear that we will not be accepted under the new circumstances, fear that we will be excluded and will not belong anymore, fear that we will be left standing alone.
I was full of fears my whole life. All sorts of fears I wasn’t even aware of. I wasn’t aware they were the reason why I am not making my dreams come true, why I wasn’t even daring to make steps in that direction. I was paralyzed in place, kept captive by my fears and limiting beliefs. Contrary to what I was taught, it wasn’t external circumstances that were keeping me from achieving my dreams. It wasn’t my circumstances, money I didn’t have, opportunities which weren’t coming my way, talents other people had, and I didn’t. It was FEAR, only fear.
0. Dare to dream a dream of what is that you want your life to become.
1. Find your fears. Name them, and give them a definition.
2. Familiarize yourself with your fears. Befriend the enemy. Get to know them, and become aware of the ways they operate.
3. Feel your fears. Feel the way they manifest in your body. Spend time with them, get to know them well, become their best friend.
4. Face your fears. Stand right in front of them, and take a good, deep look into their eyes. You know them, you are not strangers anymore, you see through them. And you have all the power now.
5. Slay the dragon, that is your fear. Change your limiting beliefs. You are stronger than them, and they don’t serve you anymore. Thank them for their service, and decide not to take their advice anymore.
6. Go do one thing right now that will bring you closer to making your dream come true.
We can never completely wipe out the fear that lives inside of us. He will always be present trying to lure us into his cave. Walk fiercely, one step after another and don’t listen to the voice of your fear. One day you will wake up realizing you are living the life of your dreams.
Kako nas strahovi drže zarobljenima
Jeste li se ikad osjećali kao da provodite život zarobljeni u staklenoj posudi? Osjećate li da izvan vaše posude postoji neki drugi svijet, ali se čini da ga vi ne možete dostići? Što god radili, čini se kao da plivate u krug?
Ja jesam. Većinu svog života.
Imala sam snove, kao i svi mi. Imala sam velike snove i mnogo prekrasnih stvari koje sam željela postići. Uvijek sam se usuđivala sanjati, ali to je bilo otprilike sve što sam ikad uspjela učiniti sa svojim snovima – sanjati ih. Sanjala sam i uvjeravala se da nisu sve stvari najmjenjene svim ljudima. To je istina, ali NAŠI snovi najmjenjeni su NAMA. Inače neki bi ih neki drugi ljudi sanjali.
Naši snovi namjenjeni su nama. To što ih možemo sanjati dar je koji smo dobili, no istodobno na nama je i odgovornost da ih ostvarimo. Većinu svog života ja se nisam pomakla sa svog kauča na kojem sam sanjala. Moje mentalno stanje bilo je da budem zahvalna što imam taj kauč. Apsolutno, to je nešto na čemu treba biti zahvalan. I na tome što imamo krov nad glavom, i sigurnost, i hranu i sve ono osnovno. Međutim, ono što nije bilo u redu s tim stanjem uma je bilo to što sam mislila da je to SVE što zaslužujem.
Kako smo odgajani jako je važno. Naputci, koncepti, ideje i vjerovanja naših roditelja utisnkivani su u nas dok odrastamo. Bez obyira što bila njihova istina, to će postati naša istina. Čak i ako toga nismo svjesni, njihivi strahovi, njihova ograničavajuća vjerovanja, njihova bespomoćnost postati će naši strahovi, naša ograničavajuća vjerovanja I naša bespomoćnost.
Naši roditelji čine najbolje što mogu. Svaki od njih. Oni ulažu sve svoje napore kako bi nas odgojili najbolje što mogu i kako bismo postali ono što oni vjeruju da je najbolje za nas. Naši nas roditelji žele zaštititi i žele da imamo prekrasne živote. Poteškoća je u tome što su njihova vjerovanja ograničena. Oni ne vjeruju da se stvari mogu postići i da se snovi mogu ostvariti. Njih također nikad nitko nije naučio drugačije. Oni su naučeni da nisus vi snovi namjenjeni svim ljudima, da trebaju biti zadovoljni onim što imaju (držati to i tišina!). Njihova krila nisu nikad bila korištena, oni nisu učili kako letjeti, njihova su krila danas zakržljala. Orao sa zakržljalim krilima ne može naučiti svoje potomke kako letjeti. On ni ne zna da to može!
Većina nas nije nikad naučila kako letjeti jer smo odrasli u okolini koja nije znala da je letjeti moguće. Oni nisu imali roditelje, rođake, susjede i građane oko njih koji su bili sposobni letjeti, moguće je da nisu nikad ni vidjeli let. U slučaju da su ga i vidjeli, vjerovali su da je letjenje karakteristika neke surge živuće vrste – bogatije, jače, uspješnije. Karakteristika bilo koga, samo ne njih.
I ja sam bila orao zakržljalih krila. Moji se roditelji nisu usuđivali sanjati. Oni nisu imali vremena sanjati. Oni su imali poslove koje je trebalo odraditi, vrtove obraditi, kuće počistiti, račune platiti. Oni su vjerovali da su njihovi snovi preveliki, da su to gluposti i da je snovima mjesto tamo odakle su i došli – u mašti. Tako da, prirodno, to je bilo ono što sam ja naučila vjerovati. Moji su roditelji činili najbolej napore da me zaštite dok sam odrastala. Nisu htjeli da me ‘surova realnost života’ povrijedi. Sjećam se njihovih naputaka: ‘Ne budi nezahvalna!’ (kad sam željela nešto više), ‘Mo’š mislit’!’, ‘Za to nemamo …….’ (popuniti bilo kojim resursom koji je bio potreban u tom trenutku), ‘Te se stvari događaju samo na filmovima’, itd.
Istina nije da nemamo ono što je potrebno: novac, prilike, mogućnosti, veze, resurse. Ono što nemamo je vjera i uvjerenje da to možemo postići. Umjesto toga mi imamo strahove. Mnogo mnogo strahova. Strah da nećemo uspjeti, strah da ne možemo postići ono što želimo, strah da ćemo sve izgubiti, strah da nećemo više biti sigurni, strah da ćemo biti ismijani i posramljeni, strah da nećemo biti prihvaćeni i da se nećemo više sviđati drugima, strah da ćemo izgubiti ljubav od ljudi do kojih nam je stalo da nas vole i odobravaju, strah da ćemo biti izopćeni i da više nećemo pripadati, strah da će nas ostaviti same.
Ja sam bila puna strahova cijeli svoj život. Puna raznih vrsta strahova kojih nisam ni bila svjesna. Nisam bila svjesna da su oni bili razlog zašto nisam ostvarivala svoje snove, zašto se nisam ni usuđivala napraviti korak u njihovom smjeru. Bila sam paralizirana u mjestu, moji su me strahovi I ograničavajuća vjerovanja držali zarobljenom. Suprotno onome što su me učili, vanjski faktori nisu bili ti koji su me sprječavali. Nisu to bile moje okolnosti, novac koji nisam imala, prilike koje mi nisu dolazila ususret, talenti koje su drugi imali, a ja nisam. Bio je to STRAH, samo strah.
0. Usudi se sanjati san koji želiš da postane tvoja stvarnost
1. Nađi svoje strahove. Imenuj ih i definiraj.
2. Upoznaj se sa svojim strahovima. Sprijatelji se s neprijateljem. Postani svjestan načina na koji funkcioniraju.
3. Osjeti svoje strahove. Osjeti kako se manifestiraju u tvom tijelu. Provedi vrijeme s njima, dobro ih upoznaj, postani im najbolji prijatelj.
4. Suoči se sa svojim strahovima. Stani lice u lice s njima I dobro ih pogledaj u oči. Poznaješ ih, oni više nisu stranci, ti vidiš kroz njih. Sva je moć u tvojim rukama.
5. Pobjedi zmaja (svoj strah). Promjeni svoja ograničavajuća uvjerenja. Ti si jači od njih. Oni ti više ne služe. Zahvali im za sve što su za tebe učinili i odluči da više nećeš slijediti njihove savjete.
6. Učini odmah danas jednu stvar koja će te dovesti bliže ostvarenju tvojeg sna.
Nikad ne možemo potpuno iskorijeniti strah koji živi u nama. On će uvijek bit prisutan i pokušavati nas izmamiti u svoju pećinu. Samo hrabro koračaj, korak za korakom i ne obaziri se na svoj strah. Jednog ćeš se dana probuditi živeći život svojih snova.