Hrvatska verzija dolje ↓
I really want to share with you a story of a recent little success of mine. In the definition of success, it is a micro success, but what is different about this one, is that I finally saw how I did it.
I don’t know about you (hopefully you will tell me), but I never really knew how I made any of my successes. Every time I managed to achieve a certain goal of mine, or make a little dream come true, I considered this was because of luck. I believed that I just stumbled upon a set of lucky circumstances. I met ‘by chance’ someone who offered me a job opportunity, it was ‘by chance’ that I was selected in a competition. It was by chance because I was just in the right place at the right time. It was by chance because I was not really having perfect skills. It was by chance because it could have been anyone else.
What I did not see is that there are no ‘chances’ in life. We create our own reality and attract into our lives circumstances that we are asking for. The fact that we don’t see how this is true, does not whatsoever mean that it is not happening.
I realized some months ago that I should spend more time in doing activities that make me happy and make me come alive. That is important, I realized for living a fulfilled and joyous life. My problem was that by that point I did not really know what is that makes me happy. In my periods of depression nothing really seems to be that thing. On a random lonely Saturday night I was listening to one of my gurus talk, and she said that one way to find out what makes you happy is to think of what made you happy when you were a child. Which activities did you enjoy? What made you spend hours in play and made you loose the track of time?
For me, one of those activities definitely was drawing. So, I decided I will give it a try. In the next months that followed, I spent hours and hours in drawing. I used it to fight seasonal depression, I used it when I was stuck on the plane for hours, I used it when I was forced to be some place boring. It was my therapy and my escape.
One night I dreamed that I made a big painting, the one that was not drawn in between my diary pages or on random scraps of papers. This one was big, for hanging on the wall. I saw exactly how it looked like, and when asked about it in the dream, I said it represented ‘Freedom’.
Couple of weeks after the creation of my first painting ‘Freedom’, I saw an ad in a Facebook group from a woman looking for ‘artists’ for an event she is organizing. She was looking for women who do arts and crafts to participate in a ‘craft fair’ at this event. I thought I am always pretty crafty, so depending on what she will need, it would be interesting to participate. So, I responded to the ad. Some weeks after that, this woman contacts me with a bit more details, and she asks if I am still interested. It would be a corporate event during which the ‘artists’ will expose their little stands with whatever arts and crafts they have. At this moment I thought to myself ‘I have to write to this woman saying that I actually changed my mind because I don’t really have any concrete products in my hand which I could expose.’ However, something inside of me did not want to give up. So, instead I wrote ‘When is the event?’. – ‘In June’, she responded. Four months from now. I wrote back ‘I am still interested’.
What the hell have I just done? I had one single painting. I had couple of pieces of my own clothes, I had some paper crafts laying around my apartment, and little more. None of those things will do for an arts and crafts fair. I really don’t know what I was thinking! Some calm voice in my head said: ‘You just keep painting, you just keep doing what you are doing, and if this event is meant for you, it will happen’.
So, I continued doing what I was doing, I continued enjoying the time with my colors. I kept thinking about being a part of this event, and I still wanted it even after the time was passing. I did not think that I had no clue what I was doing, I did not think I will not make it, I did not think that there are million aspects of this story I am not ready for, I did not even think that there was still a whole selection process to go through!
As time was passing, magic things happened. I kept getting clues and information from different sources – while talking to friends, family, reading a book or an article, on social media, etc. They kept unfolding like a huge map, opening one territory after another for me to look at. All sorts of information and questions started coming to me that I did not even think about once I applied for this event. I did not think that I will need to think of so many things if I wanted to present myself in front of the audience. I needed an identity, I needed to describe what my paintings were, why are they special. I needed to say who I was, what is my story. What about the technical aspects of the paintings, frames, how to do expositions, the selling, the reproduction? There were million things I was figuring out in the meantime, that kept popping up like Hydras heads – the moment I would kill one, there were three others showing up.
By the time it was May, only then I found out that I was selected to actually participate in the event. All this time this was not even a fact! However, in my mind from the day I said I actually wanted to participate, I was already there. I believed so strongly that I will be a part of this event, that I kept going, and kept finding solutions to make it happen. When she said that I was selected, I was so ready. It felt like the most natural thing in the world.
This is the law of life – when you desire something, the whole universe will help you to make it happen. I was just a simple girl who decided to paint for her own joy. I was not an artist. I was not a painter. I had no clue about anything that had to do with paintings or how to make an exposition, how to price paintings, nor how to offer any product to the public for that matter. I did not have any information about my paintings ready, I did not even know what am I supposed to say about them. I actually still struggled about what to say about myself!
All those things still did not stop me. All those things do not matter at the beginning because they can be figured out as you go. If you believe you will make it, you will make it. Even when you have no idea how to do it, even when you think you don’t have what it takes, when you think you don’t belong there and when there are million things that you know literally nothing about. Your job is to start, your job is to desire it and be willing to keep going. When life throws you those curve balls to test how serious you are, you just keep going, keep working, keep screaming ‘Hell yes, I am serious! Watch me do it!’ I promise you, there is nothing in the world that can compare to a reward of being so proud of yourself.
Mala priča o tome kako stvoriti uspjeh
Želim s vama podijeliti priču o svom nedavnom malom uspjehu. U definiciji uspjeha taj je mikro uspjeh, ali ono što je kod njega drugačije je da sam napokon vidjela kako sam uspjela.
Ne znam za vas (nadam se da ćete mi reći), ali ja nisam nikad vidjela kako sam došla do bilo kojeg uspjeha. Svaki put kad sam uspjela ostvariti neki svoj cilj, neki svoj mali san, smatrala sam da je to sreća. Vjerovala sam da sam jednostavno imala sreće da se odrešene okolnosti poklope. ‘Slučajno’ sam upoznala nekoga tko mi je ponudio poslovnu priliku. ‘Igrom sam slučaja’ odabrana na nekom natječaju. Bilo je slučajno jer sam se samo našla na pravom mjestu u pravo vrijeme. Bilo je slučajno jer nisam doista imala savršene kompetence. Bilo je slučajno jer je to mogao biti bilo tko drugi.
Ono što nisam shvaćala je da u životu nema ‘slučajnosti’. Mi kreiramo svoju vlastitu realnost i privlačimo okolnosti koje tražimo. Činjenica da mi ne vidimo kako je to istina, ne znači da se to ne događa.
Prije nekoliko mjeseci sam shvatila da trebam provoditi više vremena u aktivnostima koje me čine sretnom i čine me da se osjećam živom. To je važno, shvatila sam, kako bismo živjeli ispunjen i sretan život. Moj problem bio je da u tom trenutku nisam uopće znala što je to što me ćini sretnom. U mojim depresivnim periodima, ništa se ne čini kao prava stvar. Jedne slučajne osamljene subotnje večeru, slušala sam jednu spiritualnu učiteljicu koju pratim. Rekla je da je jedan od načina kako nači ono što te veseli je da razmisliš što te činilo sretnim kad si bio dijete. U kojim si aktivnostima uživao? Što te činilo da provedeš sate u igri i zaboraviš na vrijeme?
Za mene jedna od tih aktivnosti definition je bilo crtanje. Odlučila sam da ću pokušati. U sljedećim sam mjesecima provela sate i sate crtajući. Koristila sam crtanje da se borim protiv depresivnog vremena, kad sam bila zarobljena u avionu satima, crtala sam, kad sam morala biti na nekom dosadnom mjestu, crtala sam. Bila je to moja terapija i moj bjeg.
Jednu noć sanjala sam da sam napravila veliku sliku. Jednu koja nije bila nacrtana među stranicama mog dnevnika ili na bezveznim papirima koji su se vucarali uokolo. Ova je bila velika, kao slike koje vise na zidu. Vidjela sam točno kako izgleda i kad su me pitali u snu, rekla sam da predstavlja ‘Slobodu’.
Nekoliko tjedana nakon što sam nacrtala svoju prvu sliku ‘Sloboda’, vidjela sam objavu u jednoj grupi na Facebooku. Žena je tražila ‘umjetnike’ za event koji je organizirala. Tražila je žene koje su se bavile umjetnošću i ručnim radovima koje bi sudjelovale na sajmu umjetnina i rukotvorina u sklopu njezinog eventa. Ja sam uvijek vrlo krerativna i mislila sam, ovisno o tome što će joj trebati, bilo bi zanimljivo sudjelovati. Odgovorila sam na post. Nekoliko tjedana kasnije, ta me žena kontaktirala s više detalja i pitala me jesam li još uvijek zainteresirana. Biti će to korporativni događaj na kojem će ‘umjetnice’ izložiti svoje male štandove s proizvodima koje su kreirale. U tom sam trenutka znala da moram odgovoriti kako odustajem jer nisam imala konkretnih proizvoda koje bih mogla izložiti. Međutim, nešto u meni nije htjelo odustati. Umjesto toga, napisala sam ‘Kada je event?’ – ‘U Lipnju’, odgovorila je. Četiri mjeseca od danas. Odgovorila sam ‘Još sam uvijek zainteresirana’.
Koji sam vrag upravo učinila? Imala sam jednu sliku. Imala sam nekoliko svojih modnih kreacija, nekoliko papirnatih kreacija razbacanih po stanu, i to je to. Ni jedna od tih stvari nije bila primjerena za sajam rukotvorina. Stvarno ne znam što sam mislila! Neki smireni glas u meni rekao je ‘Ti samo nastavi crtati, nastavi raditi ono što radiš. Ako ti je ovaj event namijenjen, ti ćeš biti tamo’.
I tako, nastavila sam crtati, nastavila sam raditi ono što sam radila. Nastavila sam uživati u vremenu s mojim bojama. Mislila sam o sudjelovanju na tom eventu, i željela sam to čak i kako je vrijeme prolazilo. Nisam mislila kako nemam pojma što radim, nisam mislila kako neću uspjeti, nisam mislila da postoji milijun aspekata ove priče za koje nisam spremna, nisam ni mislila kako postoji još cijeli selekcijski process koji treba proći!
Kako je vrijeme prolazilo, magične su se stvari događale. Počela sam dobivati tragove i informacije iz različitih izvora – dok sam razgovarala s obitelji, prijateljima, čitajući knjigu ili članak, na socijalnim mrežama, itd. Odmotavale su se kao velika mapa, otkrivajući teritorije jedan za drugim pred mojim očima. Svakakva su mi se pitanja I informacije pojavljivale o kojima nisam razmišljala kad sam se prijavila za taj event. Nisam mislila da ću morati misliti o toliko stvari ako se želim predstaviti publici. Trebala sam identitet, trebala sam opisati što su moje slike, zašto su posebne. Trebala sam reći tko sam ja, koja je moja priča. Što s tehničkim aspektima slika, što s okvirima, kako napraviti izložbu, kako prodati, kako reproducirati? Bilo je milijun stvari koje sam u međuvremenu trebala saznati. Pojavljivale su se kao Hidrine glave – čim sam odrezala jednu, nove su tri izrasle.
Dok sam se bavila svime time, polako je došao svibanj. Tek sam tada saznala da sam odabrana da zapravo sudjelujem na eventu. Cijelo to vrijeme to uopće nije bila činjenica! Međutim, u mojoj glavi od trenutka kad sam rekla da želim sudjelovati, već sam bila tamo. Toliko sam jako vjerovala da ću biti dio tog eventa da sam nastavila s pripremama i nastavila tražiti rješenja kako bih to ostvarila. Kad je rekla da sam odabrana, ja sam bila potpuno spremna. Činilo se kao najprirodnija stvar na svijetu.
To je zakon života – kad nešto jako želiš, cijeli će ti svemir pomoći da to ostvariš. Ja sam samo obična cura koja je odlučila crtati za svoj vlastiti gušt, kako bi donijela malo sreće u svoj život. Ja nisam umjetnik. Nisam imala pojma ni o čemu vezanom uz slike ili kako organizirati izložbu, kako odlučiti o cijeni slike ili kako ponuditi bilo koji proizvod javnosti. Nisam imala informacije o svojim slikama, nisam ni znala što bi rekla o njima. Zapravo, još uvijek sam se borila s time što reći o sebi!
Sve me te stvari nisu zaustavile. Sve te stvari nisu važne na početku. Shvatiti ćeš ih kasnije, u procesu. Ako vjeruješ da ćeš uspjeti, uspjeti ćeš. Čak i kad nemaš pojma kako, čak i kad misliš da nisi sposoban, kad misliš da tu ne pripadaš. Čak i kada postoji milijun stvari o kojima doslovno nemaš pojma. Tvoj je posao da počneš, tvoj je posao željeti i biti spreman ići tim putem. Kad te život iskušava da vidi koliko si ozbiljan u svojoj nakani, samo nastavi. Nastavi raditi, nastavi vikati ‘Da, da, da! Itekako sam ozbiljan! Gledaj me!’ Vjerujte, nema nagrade u životu koja se može usporediti s osjećajem ponosa na samog sebe.
